…and you will keep on getting the same results.

I have a friend that seems to always be surrounded by big problems: divorces, loss of work, violence. She is a committed, smart, hard working person. She is also very knowledgeable of her business and an absolute go-getter. Once she puts her will on something she accomplishes it.

I have wondered over the years of knowing her how is it that despite her efforts, she never seems to get anywhere. She is always in the middle of some kind of drama, always gasping for air financially, always moving, always changing phone numbers and usually leaving some kind of trail of destruction behind her.

Some months ago, over a meal, she opened up to a few pieces of information that explain some of this: she over-commits, burns easily, has trust issues and has high expectations of others without a real foundation for them. She surrounds herself with troubled people who are, in many cases, addicted to different things. Her beloved hobby is being a musician and in the name of this she seems to accept to be surrounded with this type of individuals.

Over the same meal she started coming to the realization that some of her decisions were not conducing to the lifestyle and success that she wanted. She started making a plan. I suggested to do it in writing to have something to review when necessary. She setup goals and the specific and clear steps to get there with a timeframe attached to them. I suggested for her to find a life coach or some psychological assistance to make sure that she could succeed. By the end of the meal she was ready and prepared for a new life.

This morning I found out that two weeks ago she left her house to go to the store and never returned. Her family is frantically searching for her and fear for the worse. I learned that over this time she has been more involved with the folks that seemed to be bringing her down. The family thinks she is probably dead somewhere.

Realizing who we are and why face some challenges is paramount to change course if necessary. The definition of insanity is to keep on doing what you are doing and expect a different result.